Love More, Fear Less

Love vs Fear: What’s your perspective?

©️2017 Bianca Bowers

What Does Love Do?

What do you do when you feel persecuted by people/situations/circumstances etc.?

It is so easy to sink into fear, and default to defensiveness, cynicism, anxiety, blame, and anger. Isn’t it?

So what does love do?

Really and truly and honestly. What does love do? I don’t ever want these posts to lose sight of the realities of life/people/situations that arise and test us.

Wait. That word. Test. Maybe the answer can be found there….


What if these people/situations are sent to test us? To test how far we’ve come and how much we’ve learnt. A measure of our progression. Then the question of what would love do would all boil down to perspective. Wouldn’t it?


Yes. Perspective. I’ll admit that choosing love in these challenging situations sometimes feels like an airy fairy, New Age kinda BS that just doesn’t hold up in a real-life-court-of-law. You know what I’m saying?! Especially when my vault of experience with petty people and unjust situations reaffirms my default-fear-position. Which leads me to my next point.


In order to choose love (vs fear), we must first be aware that we are heavily conditioned by the time we reach adulthood. Most of our negative experience has taught us (the hard way) that life is tough and people can be arseholes. That the little gal and guy gets screwed a whole lot. Right? And, equipped with these experiences/world views we accept this conditioning (embrace it even), so that our cynical self can stand tall and prove itself right.

Having established that, I’ll ask another question. How is conditioning any different to a negative cycle of abuse, say? The cycle is destined to continue unless someone breaks it. Which is not impossible. Right? I know people who have broken the cycle, and those who haven’t.

Which brings us full circle to the original question.

What would love do?

Choosing love is ultimately about:

1. Changing your perspective (and seeing these challenges as tests instead of punishment),

2. Breaking the cycle of conditioning i.e. Conditioned Fear.

Easier said than done, I hear you say. And you’d be right. It’s not easy, nor is it an overnight achievement.

How To Choose Love Vs Fear…

Changing your perspective and breaking your conditioning is a long-haul project that can only be achieved with consistency. It’s a daily commitment to yourself that will require you to pay attention to your thoughts, words, and actions. Which all boils down to self-awareness.

3 Steps to Raising Self-Awareness

If you want to raise your self-awareness, you must pay attention to your[self]. And you can do this by following this checklist:

1. Perspective
Do you consistently choose fear or love? Are you even aware of your default choice? Whatever your answer, the first step is to identify what your default perspective is in life i.e. Fear or Love.

2. Conditioning 
Once you figure out your default perspective, you need to start considering how much of your perspective is conditioned i.e. built up over many years via yours (or someone else’s) negative experiences. As I mentioned above, conditioning is no different to a negative cycle of abuse, and, as such, it can only be broken when you (1) become aware of it, and (2) make a concerted effort to dismantle it.

3. Consistency
Once you are aware of your perspective and conditioning, you can start to change them by taking daily actions on a consistent basis.


It’s no good doing it once or twice. Remember the saying ‘Old habits die hard’? Yes, your perspective and conditioning is an old habit, and that old habit will revolt when you try to change it. But if you really want to change it you will need to persevere.

And while it’s not easy, it is certainly not impossible.

Read my post LOBBY4LOVE UNTIL OLD HABITS DIE HARD to find out how I intercepted and changed my negative internal dialogue.

Bianca Bowers

Until next time,

Bianca  ❤️✌️


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